As I write this... I am depressed, simply depressed.. If suicide led to heaven mayb i would have been a victim.
Truly itz nt everyone who smiles that is happy.
MY story
I was born into a deeper life family 20yrs ago.. And I can say i regret being born into deeper life.. I would ave preferred been converted there than being born there.
My travails started in secondary school.. Wen i failed to attend a fellowship, my mum talked harshly, slapped me an said i was a dishes disgrace.. Just because i failed to attend a school fellowship.. And I knew that I wasn't a bad kid.. Jes the gentle type.. Since then it has been bad... When others celebrate their mum.. I can't.. I am as far from my parents as anything.. Jes because they are deeperlifers.. I can't seat comfortably with my parents.. Cos of principles. Next was the battle concerning trousers.. She woke me up one black night with a thundering slap over a slim trouser.. Imagine dat was @16.. I cried and cried dat day.. Dat God made a mistake borning me in deeper life... Jes because i walked with a girl.. She banned me from going out..
Even at a young age... Threatened me that she"ll disown me if I marry a lady who wears wigs, trousers.. Omg.. Now.. I am in the university.. I never want to go home. I hate home.. I am depressed.. So so depressed.. My dad didn't send me any cash for a month cos a friend told him I failed to attend a midweek service.. Imagine.. Yet i am not rebellious. I know fellow guys like me who had big problems with their children but they were rebellious.. But i am not
I feel depressed writing this.. Spirituality without love is a disaster.. Aw i wish i wasn't born to a deeper life's family.. Itz a curse.. I am tired.. Itz threat all the time. I am not close to my parents.. Imagine.. Seems i should just die.. I now see my mum as a enemy.. Anytime i see her i am sad.. Talks too much about simple things in a bad manner quoting Bible over needless things.. Watching ball outside is a sin.. Visiting friends is a nono.. Cos they are highly placed in the church.. Yet no one to share my burdens with.. So sad... Yet they think i am happy..i know many out there experience something similar but are helples.. Oh God have mercy on me.. Itz calamitous to be the child of a fanatic especially if you don't wanna be a fanatic also.... Advice pls.. What can I do? So so depressed.. Feel like dieing to be reborn elsewhere
Truly itz nt everyone who smiles that is happy.
MY story
I was born into a deeper life family 20yrs ago.. And I can say i regret being born into deeper life.. I would ave preferred been converted there than being born there.
My travails started in secondary school.. Wen i failed to attend a fellowship, my mum talked harshly, slapped me an said i was a dishes disgrace.. Just because i failed to attend a school fellowship.. And I knew that I wasn't a bad kid.. Jes the gentle type.. Since then it has been bad... When others celebrate their mum.. I can't.. I am as far from my parents as anything.. Jes because they are deeperlifers.. I can't seat comfortably with my parents.. Cos of principles. Next was the battle concerning trousers.. She woke me up one black night with a thundering slap over a slim trouser.. Imagine dat was @16.. I cried and cried dat day.. Dat God made a mistake borning me in deeper life... Jes because i walked with a girl.. She banned me from going out..
Even at a young age... Threatened me that she"ll disown me if I marry a lady who wears wigs, trousers.. Omg.. Now.. I am in the university.. I never want to go home. I hate home.. I am depressed.. So so depressed.. My dad didn't send me any cash for a month cos a friend told him I failed to attend a midweek service.. Imagine.. Yet i am not rebellious. I know fellow guys like me who had big problems with their children but they were rebellious.. But i am not
I feel depressed writing this.. Spirituality without love is a disaster.. Aw i wish i wasn't born to a deeper life's family.. Itz a curse.. I am tired.. Itz threat all the time. I am not close to my parents.. Imagine.. Seems i should just die.. I now see my mum as a enemy.. Anytime i see her i am sad.. Talks too much about simple things in a bad manner quoting Bible over needless things.. Watching ball outside is a sin.. Visiting friends is a nono.. Cos they are highly placed in the church.. Yet no one to share my burdens with.. So sad... Yet they think i am happy..i know many out there experience something similar but are helples.. Oh God have mercy on me.. Itz calamitous to be the child of a fanatic especially if you don't wanna be a fanatic also.... Advice pls.. What can I do? So so depressed.. Feel like dieing to be reborn elsewhere
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